A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
