i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
