Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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