Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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