So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm really busy with my period
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