Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
