I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
