you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
