It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
