I feel like I'm in dance class right now
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm just crazy horny about you
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
