Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
the raccoons are back...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
