sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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