I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
