real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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