a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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