have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
