I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
