another moral hangover. fuck.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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