your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
