can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
