We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
