my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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