We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
