My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
