Just mADE A PArabola og urine
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
