She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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