since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
