It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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