We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
