Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
