Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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