Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I think your dad took our porno
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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