I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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