It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
