You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
