that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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