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My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
