There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
