based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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