That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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