Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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