did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
