dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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