This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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