I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
