there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
