lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
