nut hugger
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
should my penis look like a turkey
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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