Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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