can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
